Where did you come from, where did you go...

No, no, not cotton eyed Joe! LOL! I'm talking about me people!  Anyone who knows me knows that I used to be a very driven, outgoing, fun-loving person.  I used to go to college, exercise, sing, and just plain-ole have fun.  Now that I have a husband and a baby it seems like I have vanished.  I'm not saying that I wish those things wouldn't have happened, I'm saying I wish I hadn't given up everything that I am to conform to what I think I should be.  You know??

Ok, I know this may sound a little off and out of the blue, but I've been thinking about alot tonight.  So much that I CANNOT go to bed until I get some of this frustration out of me.  I really want to go back to college.  I have talked to the hubby about this before and he agrees, but I don't think he takes it seriously.  He wants me to stay home with Jax (which I do love) and do nothing but keep up the house and take care of him.  This is all fine and dandy if you are that kind of person, which I am not.  I miss school, and homework, and work! I miss being able to have some time of my own and being able to have a conversation with an adult other than "what's for dinner tonight?" and "have you paid the cable bill yet?"  Plus he is leaving me in June for another tour in Iraq and he expects me to stay here (Indianapolis) and keep our apartment, which is exactly one hour away from anyone else that I know.  I just don't think I can be that isolated for so long. 

This brings me to the hair-brained idea that came to me tonight.  What if I just moved back to Pikeville for the school year with Jaxson.  Neil will be gone anyway and  I could leave Jax with g-pa while I went to classes and maybe I could be a Big Sandy Singer again, which would give me something to do and get me back on course with school. Remember those BSS days?...

Not a big picture because it wasn't on my computer, but you get the drift. BTW-look how skinny I was, just makes me even more sad :( I just want to be normal again. I'm totally not sure about how I'm going to talk to the hub about this, he's not very good at communication sadly, and I don't want him to get mad at me.  But I don't want to spend all of my time sitting here wishing I was there,  and then looking back later and thinking that I should have done somthing about it.  Maybe going back to the singers and P-ville isn't the answer, but then again maybe it is... I'm not entirely sure where I've gone, I just know that I need to find my way back.  I need to be me.  And I don't think that is impossible just because I have a family.  I hope I can find a way to make this work and get back to being a happy, shiny person...wish me luck!

Polka-dotted Monster!

My poor baby Jax has been sick since last week :(  We took him to see the doctor last Saturday and he had an ear infection in both ears and they gave him his first round of Amoxicillin.  I am so happy that this is the first time he had ever had to take an antibiotic, the doctor was actually shocked that he had never had any up to this point.  So, yay Jaxson!  Anyway, so on day 8 of these antibiotics my sweet little happy boy turned into a polka-dotted monster!  He is allergic to amoxicillin, great...he has bright red spots all over his tiny body, he is extra irritable, he is extra clingy, he is trowing tantrums for no reason, he is mad at the world...and me I guess.  I didn't include a picture because I figured if I took one monster man would cry so I spared the tears.  We will most likely be going back to the doc tomorrow because as of late the big bad rash is not getting ANY better.

On a lighter note, I purchased a lot of items for my dear friend Sarah's diaper cake for he baby shower! Woo! So excited to go see her and her little family for the shower...and of course meet the babe in about a month! But buying the stuff today made me want to make lots of diaper cakes! One of these days I will get my business going hopefully!  Until then, If anyone needs a diaper cake made, I'm your gal!

My Child Eats EVERYTHING....

Except for his food! UGGG! This attempting to eat paper, money, and anything else he can dig out of the nooks and crany's of my house has got to stop! And to top it all off, the only food items he will eat put in his mouth are french fries, chicken (sometimes), and bananas.  Jaxson will be 15 months tomorrow and out of all of his phases, this one is the worst!  I've come to the conclusion that he doesn't even want me to eat, or drink for that matter, because if he has the chance he spills my drinks and throws my food in the floor.  I cannot take my eyes off of him for one second throughout the day for fear that i've left something to drink on a table or dropped a penny on the floor.  Plus, he is so dirty nowadays! I don't know how, but I can bath the child 3 times a day and everytime I look at his face up close it is dirty! I don't get it! Where does it come from??  My poor baby!

Here he comes now! Look's like it's bath time...  :)